Surviving the Boss from Hell
OK, you have the Boss from Hell. You are not alone, of course. "Most people have trouble with about 50 percent of their bosses, so you have lots of company," write Michael Lombardo and Robert Eichinger in "FYI," a professional coaching guide.
Why so many bad situations? Partly it is the same reason that people have difficulties with a large percentage of their spouses, partners and children. We are talking about relationships, laden with issues of responsibility, accountability, expectations and power.
On top of that, being a supervisor is a difficult job. Many of the people who complain loudly about their boss would never themselves want to take on that responsibility. And the job is becoming tougher, especially during difficult economic times.
In my experience, folks get labeled as bad bosses due to one, or some combination of, the following factors:
- They have not been trained or groomed adequately for the role.
- They lack skills and patience for dealing with people's problems.
- They are in a nightmare situation themselves, and their people are simply experiencing the trickle-down effect.
- The employee and the boss have a different view of the employee's role.
- The employee is deficient, and is projecting his/her issues onto the boss as a way of dodging culpability.
You will want to diagnose the situation carefully and devise strategies accordingly, looking for solutions within the scope of what you - and your boss - can control.
Remember that relationships are built on trust. Trust is built on honest discourse, helping others achieve goals and consistently delivering on promises and commitments. Those are good places to start working on your damaged relationship with your boss. Here are some others:
What does success look like? When you boil it down, management is about setting goals and achieving results. If you and your boss can reach shared agreement on the results that indicate success, then you can shift your focus to achieving those results.
How can I help make the boss look good? Your boss has a boss, too, and is under pressure to meet that person's expectations. Find out what those expectations are, and what you can do to make your boss look like a star.
Am I part of the problem? Be honest. Are you contributing to the rocky relationship? Are you doing a good job and achieving the required results? Talk about these things with some friends and colleagues you trust. Change your game as needed.
Can we talk? At some point, you may need to sit down with your supervisor to discuss problems or differences. When you do:
- Focus the conversation on your relationship - not, for instance, on how your boss treats co-workers.
- Focus the conversation on business - goals, expectations, and results and how to achieve them.
- Ask questions and be prepared to listen.
- Seek to end the discussion with agreement on no more than two or three action steps. Follow up with a note to the boss re-stating your understanding of the discussion and what each party agreed to do.
What won't work: It is tempting to whine or gossip about your boss with co-workers. Rarely does that accomplish anything useful. Similarly, unless your boss has done something illegal, immoral or unethical, it is almost always a bad strategy to go over his head with your complaints. Your boss has a boss, and that person is being paid to manage your boss. Let that person earn their check.
Finally: If you decide you need a different boss, that's OK. But until you move to the next boss, do outstanding work, achieve expected results and maintain a professional relationship with your supervisor. Odds are that she will be asked about you when you seek a transfer, promotion or a job in another organization - whether or not you have listed her officially as a reference. When that happens, you will want her to treat you with grace, and to give you a fair, professional and honest assessment. Think about offering your boss some of that same fairness and grace.